The Laws of Affection and its Alienation
Submitted by Ericka on Mon, 11/22/2010 - 12:30
In a perfect world, marriage and love would last forever. We’d pick our partner, start our families and live happily ever after till the end of our days. As the vow implies, “till death do us part”. BUT that’s not our reality. Reality is marriages and relationships are created and broken, cherished and taken for granted every day and the ugly truth of infidelity is something that can plaque even the strongest of relationships. No one can deny the possibility of temptation shattering their fairytale and for some American’s, monetary compensation for the loss and “sabotage” of a marriage by another woman/man can be collected by filing an Alienation of Affection suit.
While only seven out of the 50 states in America still honor these types of laws as of 2009, the statute has made headlines recently in the scandal surrounding music artist Fantasia Barrino. In a nutshell, stories about the relationship Fantasia had with a married man (Antwaun Cook) who was separated from his wife (Paula Cook) at the time, plus the wife’s allegations that the singer was the cause of the marriage failing came to a abrupt head when Fantasia attempted to commit suicide amongst all the drama. The incident concerning her relationship was not the sole cause of her reaching the potentially fatal breaking point, but it did contribute heavily to the mounting stresses that kept piling up for her. Luckily her attempt to end her life was intercepted but she did have to regain her morale and composure quickly to begin dealing with the lawsuit Cooke’s wife was pursuing under the Alienation of Affection laws.
To read specific verbiage and details about the laws you can visit www.marriage.about.com/od/legalities/g/alienationdef.htm . Personally, and not just in Fantasia’s current case but in any case, I don’t see how this law merits such severe legal actions against a third party. Whether it’s proven that she was the cause of the marriage breaking up, or the cause of Paula’s husband deciding to leave her (which it seems highly unlikely when you look further into the details) it takes TWO people to make an “affair happen”. In a world filled with billions of people, married or not, coupled up or not, attractions to others will always be there, but I think it’s what you choose to do about those attractions and feelings that make the difference between actually cheating and just knowing how to acknowledge a good looking person when you see one. I understand the intentions of this law is to help in fortifying marriages and in a way warn others of the consequences of "breaking up a happy home". But I think it ignores the accountability of the cheating spouse in question, if they're truly deceiving their significant other; it undermines the root of what could be driving two people apart which can be an infinite amount of reasons; and how does it calculate the price alleged mistresses or lovers should pay when spouses lose in the eternal game called love?
I’m sure not everyone will agree with my take on the subject. As a matter of fact earlier this year one jury awarded a North Carolina wife $9 million in her lawsuit against her husband’s mistress. At the end of the day, to me love will always be as strange as it is beautiful. The word itself is more of an enigma than anything else, it’s mysterious, its spontaneous, it’s unexplainable even but when it’s there, you just know it. And when it’s not, I think you know that too. Ultimately I don’t think it’s fair to legally be able to place the blame of “alienation of affection” on just one person and one thing or the illusive third party in any situation. The inner workings of seperations are definitely more convoluted than that in my book.
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