Unapproved Love is Okay

I’ve come to realize that truly great people do not seek approval from others.

All our lives, we’ve been trained to judge ourselves with grades, ranks, criticism and praises. Starting from the teacher’s gold star that we work for in kindergarten to GPAs in school, approval of our appearances, and that hoped for promotion, we are consistently living with the desire for approval from someone else. Feedback from those with different perspectives or more knowledge about a certain field definitely help us improve ourselves, but we sometimes forget that this feedback only take us so far; they prove our potential or skills to only a certain extent. One person or even a group of people cannot determine what we can or cannot do; they might determine our present outcome, but they cannot foretell our future.

If someone tells us that we are dumb or ugly or our work and ideas are inadequate, then are we really dumb, ugly, and only capable of doing inadequate works? Perhaps, to a certain extent, they are seeing something to which we are blind, because we are so biased about ourselves. But most of us would like to say, “No! We can’t please everybody! It’s just their opinion.” However, we still get stressed about what others tell us; a small corner of our mind cannot help thinking that we are failures, inadequate, and insufficient.

Many famous people have dealt with failures. The reason they failed so many times might have been their stubbornness, the obstinacy to keep doing what they were doing regardless of the world’s disapproval. For this reason, many of them only gained posthumous fame and probably died with a sense of disappointment that they could not make a name for themselves. That they were indeed inadequate at what they were doing; the world had been right when it told them that they were doing everything wrong. Then why did they continue with their works despite the disapprovals? They probably loved their ideas and works too much to change them for someone else who personally had nothing to do with their lives, for someone who was just one head out of millions of people on this earth. They weren’t careless about other people’s criticisms, though. They had an open mind and took these criticisms with serious consideration when they were working on their next works or discoveries. But, they did not actively seek approval; single person’s approval was minor in this gigantic universe through which they could expand. They were not doing what they were doing for someone else, but for their own satisfaction. And, when it comes to self-satisfaction, the process gives us as much joy as the outcome or the product.

Did such carelessness about others’ opinions make them suffer from an ego problem? Possibly. But let’s try to keep our modesty. Then, what about love? Definitely. Love for the path that they have chosen, no matter what someone else said, got them through discouragements and despair. And, it should also get us through, time and time again, through our difficult paths.